The Santa that was a woman

Ok so here is the setting:

1995. I am a tiny 7 year old girl. Its 2 weeks before Christmas. I am sitting our dining room coloring.

My parents tell me there is a surprise at the door. I am SUPER DUPER excited!!! OH BOY! I hear  knock and they open the door. I SCREAM and JUMP up and down.

IT'S SANTA! SANTA CAME TO MY HOUSE BEFORE CHRISTMAS! AND I GET TO SEE HIM ALL BY MYSELF! (Well, with no other kids around.)

Santa had a few toys to give me and ask me what I wanted for Christmas. Probably just double checking my list. I don't have the neatest hand writing. Oops, I should really work on that before next year.

Santa sits on our couch, picks me up and sits me on his knee. He starts with his jolly, belly laugh and asks me if I have been a good girl.

Is this a trick question? No, he knows the truth. But what all does he consider bad behavior? I mean, that boy was being mean to me and deserved to be pushed. He said I could never be the pink power ranger. He obviously didn't see my pink ranger ninja outfit.

Ok I take a breath in. This is it. "OF COURSE I HAVE! ON MY BEST BEHAVIOR!"

He laughed and smiled. HE BOUGHT IT! I don't think he seen me push that boy. No way, I was to fast. NINJA FAST!

I look into Santa's eyes. I want to see that twinkle in his eye!

I gasp!! OMG! MY WHOLE LIFE IS RUINED!! ITS ALL RUINED! WHY DID THEY DO THIS TO ME?! I want to run away and cry.

This isn't Santa. SANTA DOESN'T WEAR MAKEUP! OMG WHAT HAPPENED!!! WHY IS HE WEARING MAKEUP?!?!?!

I swallow and look down. I look up at Santa again and swallow one more time. My mouth was getting extremely slobbery from being nervous.

"Um, why are you wearing makeup?" I am for sure going on the NAUGHTY list for this.

Santa chuckled.

"I am really Mrs. Claus. Santa is not feeling too well, but he knew how badly you wanted to see him. So I came in disguise for him."

WHEW! I wipe my forehead. I am so glad it was Mrs. Claus. I didn't want my parents to be tricked by a fake Santa.


And this is how I came to be best friends with Mrs. Claus. Yea we are BFFs.