Saturday, December 20, 2014

Waxing for Newbies. NEVER AGAIN

Waxing. We all do it. Well, we all tried it to say the least. I have never waxed anything except my eyebrows. I decided to try waxing something else. I bought this wax kit. I thought I HAD 3 KIDS, I GET MY EYEBROWS WAXED. I CAN HANDLE THIS.

I prepare my body the way the container said. I washed my body, dried it completely. I warmed up the wax. I go in the bathroom and pull the popsicle sticks out. OK STICK, YOU ARE GETTING WAXY. I dip it in the wax container and begin to rub it on the area that I want to wax. OOOH THIS WAX IS NICE. ITS SO WARM. I CAN DO THIS.

I get done rubbing the wax on the area and I place the cotton strip on the wax. OH YEA I GOT THIS. I CAN DO THIS. I WAS BORN READY

RRRRIIIIPPPPP! OH THAT WAS NOT THAT BAD! I hold up the strip to look at my accomplishment. Um, that's not a lot of hair. Did the wax melt on the strip? How does this work? I look down and there is the wax. Ok. Ok. Ok. I can do this. I put another strip on and rip again. Nothing. Hmm. Ok one more time. I put on another strip and this time my husband rips it off. OMG. SEEING STARS. IT BURNS. SHOULD IT BURN? OMG IT HURTS. SEEING STARS AGAIN.
I look at the strip and there is the wax. There is the hair. WHY DO WOMEN DO THIS?! I can't no more. OH MAN THERE IS MORE WAX. Ok I am going to jump in the shower and wash this off.
But I heard don't add water to the wax. Hm, OH WAIT. HOT WATER. HEAT WILL MAKE IT MELT SO WHY NOT USE HOT WATER. Now to remove the rest of the hair. I guess shaving it is.
The razor is stuck. OMG ITS STUCK! WTH?! HOW DO I REMOVE THIS? Rubbing alcohol. OH NO IT WILL BURN EVEN MORE. OK SOAP. I pour soap down the front and the razor is moving. its removing itself from my skin. I look at the razor to see if any hair came off. Some. Along with some wax and is that skin? OMG I AM NEVER WAXING AGAIN. THIS IS STUPID. I REFUSE TO TRY TO GET SEXY DOWN THERE AGAIN. I will deal with the stubble any day.
I am laying in bed and I try to move my legs to stretch them out and its sticking to my butt. My thigh is sticking to my butt. How am I going to remove this? GOOGLE. OK GOOGLE, DON'T LET ME DOWN. I NEED TO GET MY THIGH UNSTUCK FROM MY BUTT. FIND ME A SOLUTION.


No comments:

Post a Comment