Thursday, April 4, 2013

My WORST birthday EVER!

I am apart of the SECRET SUBJECT SWAP hosted by:Baking in a Tornado.

My subject is

What is the WORST birthday you have ever had and what could you have done to improve it?

Submitted by the lovely: Menopausal Mother

Here are the other bloggers who are doing this:                         

I have had a lot of birthdays. And this one was by far the WORST ever!

Today is my birthday party. I am 8 years old. Ok not yet, but because of my cousin and our birthdays are so close together that this birthday (and some before) we are sharing a birthday party. This year I am a big kid. I am getting so close to 9 and after 9 is 10. Double digits! I have a princess cake. So cute. It has the carriage, the barbie on there. I love it!! She has beautiful blonde hair, a blue dress and she has a carriage that is the same color as the dress. I love it! It has HAPPY 8TH BIRTHDAY ON IT! I am so excited to be 8 YEARS OLD!

Right on the right side of my cake(its split in half) was HAPPY 5TH BIRTHDAY and all kinds of icky boy stuff. It has cars on it. Cars?! Like boy cars. This was not girl cars. They are green, and they have flames. Who likes those? Obviously, an icky boy. I did not want this boy stuff on my cake. I don't really look at his side of the cake. Its an ugly boys cake.

Did they not realize he was just 5? I was 8! Did I mention how in 2 years I would hit DOUBLE DIGITS! That's a HUMONGOUS deal! He is 5, not 8 like me. I did not want to share my cake with him. I did not want to share my birthday party with him. I want my own princess cake. Princesses and hotwheels don't mix. Don't they know boys are icky?

 I am a lot older. And I am a girl. Not a stinky, smelly, icky, sticky, little 5 year old boy. A boy! A BOY! I am a GIRL! Do not the realize this is really wrong? A hotwheel on a princess cake! Why? They don't belong together.

I suck it up and act like the big kid I am and "pretend" to enjoy the rest of the party. *sigh I am not 5. I am a big kid. Practically an adult.* We have games. *My cake was so pretty, but his side wasn't.* We open presents. *I am a girl, not a BOY.* I got a bunch of awesome presents. Some pretty clothes, some new dolls, and some money.

I am still angry I have to share my birthday with a baby! HIS side of the cake says he is 5! That is definately not 8, like me. Luckily, I will be 9 next year, and I won't have to share it with a boy.
5. Who do they think I am? A 7 year old?

Wednesday, April 3, 2013


We have a closet downstairs that is used for my husbands army gear. And some other stuff(that I need to get out, but I have been procrastinating.) I decided to clean it out today. Thinking I SHOULD DO IT. IT NEEDS TO BE DONE! I go in and get started and I am jamming to music, dancing, getting it done.

I start to feel something in undies. I brush it off as my tag. Still dancing, bobbing my head, singing out loud. Getting into it. Yea. Fist bump or 2. Throwing things away. Taking out boxes, clothes. Stuffing things in bags.

I feel it again, but towards my crack. I freeze. My tag isn't that long. MY TAG SHOULDN'T HAVE MULTIPLE LEGS! OH NO ITS A SPIDER! By this point, I am in my hallway, dancing like Ace Venture in his pink tutu, screaming GET IT OUT! ITS GOING TO BITE ME! I'M GOING TO DIE! DID IT BITE ME?! I THINK IT BIT ME! My pants and undies are around my ankles at this point. I am too afraid to touch my behind to get it, but I am also afraid of being bitten. I am in such a JAM! I am going crazy. My kids laughing hysterically. Not helping me. Husband is at work, he can't help.

I must be brave. I got bit by a spider. (Here they are huge, so it could of been a radioactive spider that gave me powers). I am SPIDERWOMAN. I am mighty. I am not fearful. I take a deep breath, I squint my eyes and the only thing that pops into my head is, WHAT IF ITS STUCK SOMEHWERE IT SHOULDN'T BE?! I muster up all my bravery and I smack the air, myself, everywhere, until I see it fall. I am stomping all around the spider, but not on the spider. I finally kill it.


Should I test my powers out? Should I not? Maybe I will pull my undies and pants up and just ease out of the closet and act like this never happened.

If only my kids could do the same.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

I want to thank...

I was nominated for an award! OH how awesome?! I am super excited! I don't blog that much(loss of my muse lately), but I try to and when I do, I hope to bring laughter and give people something to read. I was nominated for the

VERY INSPIRING BLOG AWARD! I am so giddy. I want to thank my fans, the blogger over at THE MOMISODES! for  nominating me. THANK YOU!

Ok the rules are:
1: Display the award logo
2: Link it back to the person that gave it to you
3: State 7 things about yourself
4: Nominate 15 bloggers for this award and include their links in this blog

7 things about me:
1) I am a morning person. I have my OH NO TURN OFF THE LIGHT moments, but its rare. I get up before the sun and I am awake. I do not much until after the sun is up, but I am awake and out of bed.
2) I am a simple person. It doesn't take much to make me smile. I like the small things in life. Like me. I am very small and I like myself A LOT!
3) I am afraid of the dark. I mean I can't sleep without some kind of light in my room. I start to picture creepy things(aliens, ghost, monsters) and I can't sleep.
4) I love GAME OF THRONES! I honestly can't wait to see the new king and his mom's head on a stake.
5) I may be afraid of the dark, but I have a very twisted sense of humor and I am very twisted. I love JOKER(batman), I love Harley Quinn. I love the dark and twisted things.
6) I have road rage. I don't roll down my window and threaten anyone. I leave my window up so only I hear the threats. I get so angry if someone drives and don't follow the road signs, or common courtesy of the road. Its a pet peeve really.
7) I am working on getting my GED. I didn't graduate high school, so I am working on completing my GED before I get any older and just give up. I want to go to college.

There you have it. 7 things about me. So, now I will add 15 bloggers I nominate this award for :).
Menopasusal Mother
Ignore me like you mean it
Baking in a Tornado
Bad Word Mama!
My daily Jenn-ism
The Joyous Life of Cha(r)lita
The Momisodes
The Plucky Procrastinator
The Robot Mommy
The Mommy Ref
Moki's Musings
Swamped Mommy
The Mommist
The Insomniac's Dream
Life On Peanut Layne

Go, read, like, share! Enjoy these bloggers as much as I have!